


I never told her about us

by Anonymous



Category: The Blacklist (TV) RPF, The Blacklist (US TV)
Genre: 2x08, Age Difference, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Porn, Porn With Plot, RPF, Smut, Spoilers for the show up to and including 2x08, The Decembrist, and there is not a single fic with this pairing on ao3, i just saw the ending of that episode and was like, idk what this is either, so i just wrote it myself, that line could be interpreted very differently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29828865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Ryan and James rehearse a scene in James' trailer. James has been pining over Ryan for a while and much to his surprise, Ryan uses the scene and lines therein as an excuse to make a move...
Relationships: James Spader/Ryan Eggold
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	I never told her about us

**Author's Note:**

> So... I haven't written a story in years, and so far everything had been very innocent, and this is what finally motivated me to write again. Smut about these two actors nobody else has written about here. *Sigh* 
> 
> So, my first time trying to write smut, also I don't know shit about the actual actors bc out of fear of Spoilers (I'm in Season 3) I have not watched a single interview, so this is purely based on what I think these people might be like. 
> 
> Obviously, this is pure fiction and for my own entertainment (and maybe yours) and has nothing to do with the actual actors, and I hope they'll never see it. 
> 
> Also, no beta reader, obv, as if I'd ever show this to another living soul who knows me, so sorry about any mistakes/...

„You are never to see her again.”

“Yeah I got it.”

“I don’t think you do. Look at me. You are never to see her again.”

“You know, for what it’s worth, I spent four months on that ship chained up… and never told her about us. Not one word.”

Small gasps and sounds of incredulity came from all around the tables, making James smirk. Most of the actors had just gotten the script for the next episode and none of them had known about this plot twist or had seen it coming. James and Ryan of course had known, to be able to properly know and portray their characters, because some of their directors actually knew what they were doing. In contrast to some of the Marvel directors who put their actors into empty rooms to act in without even knowing who they were talking to, James thought amused.

“Okay great! Thank you all for coming in to read the scene together”, the director looked into the round of actors – James, Megan, Ryan, Diego, Amir, … “I guess I can’t keep you all in the dark any longer, so you’ll find some more notes and info about _that_ attached to the script. I know we don’t get much time to rehearse, so if you could go over the notes and can find some time with your scene partners to practice before we meet again tomorrow evening, that would be great, so the filming days will be shorter and more satisfactory for all of us. And don’t hesitate to reach out to me either, if you have questions or want to discuss something before then.”

Everyone started to pack their scripts together, talking about the little bit of info about the plot twist and making plans for running lines. Megan came up to James. “Well, I’m very curious about this new development. 9am tomorrow as usual then?” He smiled up at her. “Sure.” He was happy that his coworkers took rehearsals as serious as he did and that everyone got along fine.

Megan went to talk to Diego, so James got his things and stood up, finding himself next to Ryan. _God, he looks so good._ As so often, he tried to stop himself from just staring at him. It was getting ridiculous, he was by far the most experienced actor here, always composed and relaxed, confident in his abilities, always the one to crack a joke – and still, here he was, trying not to behave like a teenager around their first crush.

“So, we’ll finally have a scene together!” Ryan grinned at him, while they were walking out of the room into the night towards their trailers. “Do you want to go over our lines for a bit?” James looked at him surprised. He hadn’t expected him wanting to meet for such a short scene. Ryan noticed his surprise. “I know it’s not a lot, but the scene is quite important, plot twist and cliffhanger and all, and I’d like to try it a few different ways, if you don’t mind of course.” James had actually been looking forward to a quiet evening, but was now the focus of Ryan’s concentrated charm – and who was he to try to resist that?

“No, sure! Let me just grab a jacket from my trailer and we’ll find a quiet spot to try out some things.” James immediately regretted his choice of words, trying to get the images out of his head that popped up uninvited, of very different things they could try out in a quiet spot.

“Oh, I thought maybe we could just do that in your trailer, if that’s okay with you? It’s getting a bit chilly out here and, to be honest, I always get a bit anxious about my acting without having rehearsed it, so I’d appreciate the privacy.”

 _Well, shit._ His efforts to ignore the mental images from before went out the window, now being replaced by even more graphic images of Ryan in his trailer, alone with him, looking at him with his intense not-Tom Keen stare, in his arms, in his bed-

“Uh, sure.” He cleared his throat. “Don’t worry, I get it. My trailer it is.” And while saying these words, James was wondering if he wasn’t making a big mistake. His goal had been to get rid of his unprofessional crush on his much younger coworker, and instead he was inviting him into his Trailer, alone, in the evening? This wasn’t going to end well.

It was a short walk. Ryan seemed content with just silently walking next to him, so James used the few minutes to try to steer his thoughts back into g-rated territory and convince himself that this was purely professional. Arriving at his trailer, he went in, then held the door open for Ryan, inviting him in with a courteous hand gesture.

“It’s nice in here!” Ryan seemed impressed. “So much nicer than the other ones. Also, I can’t believe I haven’t been in here before, after all the time!” James just chuckled nervously and shrugged. “Given that I don’t really spend much time in here, I actually think it’s a bit excessive to have all this just for me, but I guess that’s one of the perks of being one of the main characters. But get comfortable, let me take your jacket.”

Ryan took of his jacket and handed it to him with a warm smile before sitting down on the semi-circular couch around a small table. James almost regretted taking his jacket upon seeing Ryan’s muscular chest and arms in nothing but a tight black t-shirt. Almost.

He sat down across from Ryan on the other end of the couch. “Okay, how do you want to do this?” James asked. “Should we just read it with whatever feels right and then see where we can go from there?”

“Sounds good to me” Ryan said. To James he seemed quite relaxed, and he tried to relax as well, closed his eyes and took a moment to get into character. When he opened his eyes again, Tom Keen was sitting across from him, so much colder and harder than Ryan ever was.

“Do you have it?” he asked exasperated. James as Red didn’t take his eyes off of him while taking his script as a prop and dropping it on the table in front of Ryan/Tom. With a glance to the side, where both of them had instinctively imagined Dembe, he took the script, flipped through it, looked back up at James/Red and started to get up.

“You are never to see her again.” Ryan/Tom stopped in his movements, eyes wandering to the side, clearly not happy about it. “Yeah, I got it.” With that he stood up and started walking past James/Red, who suddenly grabbed his wrist. Ryan/Tom looked at his hand, averting his eyes.

“I don’t think you do. Look at me” James/Red demanded, and Ryan/Tom did. “You are _never_ to see her again.” They kept their eyes fixed on each other for a few seconds longer, before Ryan/Tom started to speak again. “You know for what it’s worth, I spent four months on that ship chained up… and never told her about us. Not one word.”

“You know”, Ryan said, breaking character and grinning at James, “if I didn’t know better, reading that line? _And never told her about us_? That would have sounded very much like the two of them had an affair with each other.” James froze and his grip, still around Ryan’s wrist, tightened slightly. He hoped Ryan didn’t notice. He knew that he was only joking, but still, the implication of them, even as their characters, in a relationship?

James tried to compose himself, finally let go of Ryan’s arm and laughed, trying to cover up his reaction to Ryan’s words. “Ha, yeah.” _Wow_.

“I mean, if Tom had said this to any female character, that would have exactly been it, right?” James just nodded, staring up at him. He noticed how close Ryan was standing in front of him, right as he nodded towards him, gesturing for him to move. James scooched over and Ryan sat down next to him. _Right_ next to him, arm to arm, no personal space, even though there was enough. _Oh my god. Okay, relax, no need to react like this, it’s gonna be fine._ James tried to reason with himself. He wouldn’t get all worked up just because his coworker was sitting a bit close to him.

But Ryan wasn’t done yet. “Also, I think that wouldn’t actually be that absurd. If we ignore what really caused that line – the two of them together? Why not?” Ryan turned towards James, who didn’t dare to do much more than breathing and trying to keep his face under control.

“They’re both criminals, murderers, but for their own reasons which they think justify their actions. They are connected, they both are a considerable part of Lizzy’s life, and now we know they knew each other. Both their lifestyles can get pretty damn lonely, and here they have another person who is in their life anyway and knows about them… I think it would actually make perfect sense for them to get involved, don’t you?”

Ryan was now directly looking at him, and oh so very close, still with his arm against James’, his knee against James’ leg. “Uh, I-“ James tried to find an answer, but couldn’t really form any coherent thought except for _he’s so close, god, he’s so close, what is he doing, oh my god, does he know? No, he couldn’t. Maybe this is just normal for him. But his arm against mine, and god, he’s so close, I can even feel his breath when he speaks – oh god, I have to answer him and not sound like a total idiot-_

“Sure, yeah, the way you put it, makes sense, yes”, James managed to get out, avoiding Ryan’s eyes.

“They’d never dare to do that, though, making them anything but straight. But it would be fun, right? Imagine the reactions.” At this point Ryan casually put his hand on James’ thigh and he forgot how to breathe for a second. He also noticed himself starting to get hard and tried not to panic. Ryan didn’t seem to notice any of it and continued to talk in this innocent tone: “And to film it? Those two together? That would be fun, wouldn’t it?”

He grinned at him and James thought that he felt him squeeze his thigh for a moment. Surely, he must have imagined it, he thought, but it made him finally turn his head and directly look into Ryan’s eyes. He saw a glint there, saw the sheepish grin on his face, heard the actually-not-so-innocent tone with which he had said those last few sentences, saw Ryan’s gaze drop to his mouth, and finally, finally the penny dropped and James realized that this entire thing had been planned, that from the moment Ryan had addressed him back in the room with the other actors, he had been flirting with him, trying to get to a private place with him.

“You-“, he started, incredulously, “are you… are you trying to seduce me!?” He had wanted to sound amused, in case his conclusion happened to be nothing more than wishful thinking, but his voice failed him, and the hope and honesty of his question were undeniably there. 

Ryan quietly laughed. “Yes. Yes, I am, thank you for noticing. Is it working?”

“I-“, James just stared at him, speechless. The words were stuck in his throat, his thoughts racing – did Ryan really want him? He could have anyone, but he wanted him? For how long? How did he never notice anything? And then the moments on set trickled through his memories, James now seeing them in a different light, the little moments of Ryan making a remark about Reddington that he had thought of as nothing more than a joke, the little touches that seemed so innocent, straightening his hat or coat, patting him on the shoulder-

“James?” Ryan’s voice brought him back to reality and James noticed the change in expression, Ryan’s hand leaving his thigh, him reposition himself so there was more distance between them. “I’m sorry if I misinterpreted this and made you uncomfortable. I can leave, if you want me to.” He sounded sincere and was about to get up from the couch. That, finally, brought James’ voice and senses back, the reality of the situation sinking in.

“No.” He said firmly and grabbed Ryan’s arm, not unlike he had done only minutes before as Reddington. He looked into Ryan’s eyes and smirked. “No, your interpretation was absolutely correct. It just took me by surprise.”

Ryan visibly relaxed and his suggestive smile returned. “Oh, I’m very glad to hear that.” He leaned closer to James and whispered in his ear: “So very glad.” Which went straight to James’ cock. Ryan leaned back just enough to be able to nod in the direction of James’ crotch, where a bulge started to form, and said: “Well, are we going to do anything about that?”

With that, James opened his hand on Ryan’s wrist and slowly let his hand slide up his arm, feeling the muscles, then over his shoulder and to his face. With both of his hands he cupped Ryan’s face and, firmly looking into his eyes, asked: “May I kiss you?” Ryan’s gaze dropped to James’ lips once more and he nodded. James slowly closed the distance between their mouths, until their lips slightly brushed against each other, hovering there for a moment, before softly pressing their lips together in a sweet and gentle kiss. He surprised himself with that – in his fantasies it had always been heated, but in this moment, this felt right.

Ryan kissed him back just as softly and James thought that they probably both wanted to savor this moment. While Ryan brought one hand to James’ shoulder, James let go of Ryan’s face with one hand and let it roam over his muscular chest. At the same time their kiss became less chaste, with Ryan slightly biting James’ lip. He opened his mouth and their tongues met.

Ryan’s hand found James’ thigh again, slowly moving upwards. When he moved inward and cupped the bulge at the front of the pants, James broke the kiss and gasped. He looked at Ryan, saw the want in his eyes, and kissed him again, heated. He felt Ryan’s hand move up and down his cock through the fabric and started to kiss his way down Ryan’s neck. He kissed and lightly bit and licked, finding the places that made Ryan react to the most. With a graze of his teeth Ryan moaned and his hand stopped moving for a moment. James pulled back to look at him. “Let’s take this to the bed, shall we?”

“More than happy to”, Ryan grinned at him, stood up and pulled James with him. When they were in front of the bed, he turned them, so James was with his back to the bed, and softly pushed him, making him sit down. He then took a step back and James was about to protest, when Ryan started to slowly remove his shirt and he realized what he was doing. Smiling, James leaned back on his arms, enjoying the show. For the first time he allowed himself to really look at Ryan, his entire body, without shame or self-regulation or fear of someone noticing.

And Ryan seemed to like it. He moved seductively to some music in his head, pulling his shirt over his head, revealing the toned and muscular chest underneath. He threw his shirt to the side and continued with the rest of his clothes, only leaving on his boxers. James stared at the bulge in the front and subconsciously licked his lips, before his eyes flickered up again to Ryan’s face.

“Do you like what you see?” Ryan said smirking.

“Oh yes.”

“Good.” Ryan stepped towards James and then straddled him. “Because I also like what I see.” Ryan kissed him for a moment before starting to undo the buttons of James’ shirt. Once open, he explored James’ chest with his hands and then slid the shirt off of his shoulders.

“Now even more so. But you’re still wearing way too much.” Ryan stood up and James followed, to quickly get rid of his pants as well. Ryan got back on the bed, lying on his back and watching James. When James only had his underwear on as well, he looked at Ryan on his bed, almost naked, and halted. For a moment he just stared at him in amazement and wonder.

“What?” Ryan asked curiously. James shook his head and climbed on the bed with him. “Nothing. I just… I can’t believe you're actually in my bed.” He kissed his chest and then his way up to his mouth.

“I was just wondering… why?” He looked at Ryan, feeling insecure all of a sudden.

“Why? Why I’m here, with you, in bed?” Ryan asked, looking up at him incredulously. “I don’t think there’s anyone on this set who wouldn’t want that.” James laughed, but Ryan just looked at him earnestly. “I mean it. I don’t know how you don’t realize this, but god, James, you’re probably _the_ most attractive man I have ever met. The way you carry yourself, your kindness, the way you move, how clever you are, your confidence and charm, the way you bring Reddington to life, the way you talk and oh, your voice, James, god, just hearing you talk with that deep voice? The amounts of times on set where I just wanted to pin you to a wall? I don’t care that you’re older than me or about your body type or whatever it might be that makes you feel insecure – you are so attractive, I can’t even begin to express it fully, it’s hard to put it into words.”

James stared at him in wonder for a moment, then he leaned closer to Ryan’s ear and said in a consciously low voice: “How about you show me instead?” Ryan let out a small groan and surprised James by promptly flipping them around, now hovering above him. “Yeah, I can definitely do that.” After another passionate kiss, Ryan started to kiss his way down James chest and stomach to the edge of his boxer shorts. His fingers trailed along the waistband, making James shiver, before slowly pulling them down.

James’ cock sprang free, as hard as it could be. As soon as Ryan had gotten rid of James’ underwear, he returned to the spot between the other man’s legs, his hands on his thighs. He leaned down, looked at James to ensure he had his consent, and when he got a nod, he licked along the underside of James’ cock, eliciting a moan from him. He took the base of James’ cock in his right hand and lowered his mouth onto the tip. James watched him as he started to lick him, a flick of his tongue on the head, then worked his way down, taking him in deeper, licking and sucking. James was grabbing the sheets and felt like he was in heaven. When Ryan started to bob his had up and down on his cock, he groaned in pleasure and grabbed a handful of Ryan’s hair, trying not to push him down or jerking his hips up into his mouth further than he could take.

James was lost in bliss when Ryan stopped with a last flick of his tongue to crawl up and stifle James’ protest by kissing him passionately. Ryan’s own hard cock, still confined in his boxer shorts, pressed against James’. “Did that help with understanding just how much I want you?” Ryan asked him when they broke apart gasping for air. “Oh, I’m not sure, I think I need some more convincing…” James grinned at him, making Ryan chuckle happily. “Don’t worry. I only stopped because I want more of you”, he answered, nibbling on James ear. “I want to feel you on my cock, James, I want to fuck you. That okay?”

“God, yes” James groaned, his hands already wandering down to tuck at Ryan’s boxer shorts. “I have some lube and condoms in the nightstand.” Ryan had to leave his position on top of James to get the items and quickly got rid of his underwear as well. Then he straddled James, condom wrapper in his hand, looked him in the eyes and ripped it open with his teeth, which had exactly the expected effect on James. “That was very hot”, he commented. “Now give me that.” He took the condom from him and slowly rolled it over Ryan’s cock, stroking it a few times in the process.

Ryan moaned quietly and took the lube. He moved down until he was sitting between James’ legs and coated his fingers in lube. He reached down to find James’ entrance and circled around it for a moment, before slowly pushing in with one finger. James groaned and lifted his legs so that Ryan had better access. After a few moments, Ryan added a second finger and continued stretching and preparing him.

“Ryan, please, I need you”, James gasped, when he removed his fingers. He looked down to see Ryan applying some lube and positioning him between James legs. When the tip of his cock was at James’ entrance, he looked at him. “Ready?” James nodded and Ryan slowly pushed in, inching further until he was fully inside James. He stilled, letting both of them adjust, before starting to move again, slow at first, but picking up speed quickly.

“Oh Ryan, yes”, James moaned. Ryan’s hips rocked back and forth, fucking into James. He shifted the angle slightly and a wave of pleasure shot through James, when Ryan hit his G-spot. He groaned and let his hands slide over Ryan’s muscular arms next to him.

“You like that? Like being fucked by your costar?”, Ryan asked with a growl in his voice, snapping his hips back and forth even harder. James’ erect cock twitched at those words, throbbing. “Yes, Ryan, please, oh yes”, he gasped in between heavy breaths. He reached down to stroke himself, but Ryan put his hand aside and started stroking James’ cock himself. Feeling the rough hand around him, giving him the friction he craved, James was in absolute bliss. “Ryan, I’m- I’m close, I’m gonna-“, he warned.

Ryan gave him a sloppy kiss, still fucking him with rigor, and moaned: “Good, yes, James come for me, I want to see you fall apart by my hand, on my cock, come for me!” And James did, crying out Ryan’s name as the wave of pure pleasure tore him apart, come spurting from his cock over his belly and Ryan’s hand, clenching around Ryan’s cock. After a few more thrusts, Ryan followed him, groaning, “Fuck, James”, and James watched him in wonder, the bliss on his face, as he came inside him. Ryan collapsed onto James, who covered his face in little, sweet kisses, until Ryan regained some of his strength. Ryan quickly threw the condom away and cleaned them up with a tissue. Then he snuggled back in next to James.

Ryan lifted his head, lying half next to, half on top of James. They looked at each other and smiled happily. “I’m so glad you made us go into my trailer, I wanted this for months”, James told him.

“And I’m so glad I had interpreted your body language correctly and didn’t come off as a creep”, Ryan laughed. “I was already super nervous, and I really thought for a moment that I had just made you extremely uncomfortable when I finally had the courage to put my hand on your thigh.”

“I was way too focused on not getting a fucking boner just because you sat down next to me to notice that you were nervous”, James grinned.

“Hmmm, and how did that work out?” Ryan asked, leaning in and kissing James sensually. After a few moments they broke apart, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“Honestly, I’m still having a hard time processing that you, young and charming and fit and perfect as you are, want me”, James said.

“Well, and I’m still in absolute awe that you, sexy and confident and perfect as you are, who could have had anyone on this set, apparently want me”, Ryan replied, smiling.

Then he rolled onto his back and groaned frustratedly. “Also, I have no idea how I’m supposed to get through our scene tomorrow now, thinking about how it led to me fucking you.”

James laughed. “Same here.”

“But you’re at least sitting down, I have to walk around, probably with a semi, with you talking to me in that voice, grabbing my wrist, and not make it seem like Tom wants nothing more than to fuck Reddington instead of Liz.”

They both chuckled. “You want to stay here tonight?”, James asked. Ryan wrapped his arm around James' waist and placed a few soft kisses on his collarbone and neck. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm always happy about comments! :)


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